A Day to Remember!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


It started out as just another fine, gorgeous day, nearly cloudless, albeit a little cold. Another day in cruising paradise, or so we naively thought. The wind was from our port stern quarter at about 15 knots so we put up our jib and motorsailed for a while. Our speed improved quite a bit. The wind picked up a bit more so then we put out our mainsail, cut the engine, and sailed wing-on-wing. We got up to 7.9 knots which is great speed for our boat so we were really pleased. Especially since sailing down these narrow channels is usually NOT an option! (Not to mention we were saving fossil fuels. Whoohoo!) A bit later the wind died down so we put the sails away.

Not more than half an hour later the wind picked back up and we put the sails back out again. (Ah, the benefits of pushbutton sailing!) The wind speed was 14 knots. We were on a beam reach. I was driving. Things were going just swell. Both sails were filled in nicely on our port side and the telltales were streaming perfectly. La dee da. Isn't life good? Then, in an instant, it all went to shit! The jib flew across the bow and slammed HARD to starboard and the boat heeled precipitously and hard. (An accidental jibe.) But the weird thing was the mainsail was still on the correct side (to port.) What the hell??? Brad's coffee, which he had placed precariously to the left of the chartplotter, flew fast and hard, and smashed against the far wall, ricocheting and spewing a full load of black coffee across the ceiling, the floor, the galley counter, both silverware drawers, the refrigerator, the steps, the tea shelf, and splattering every single once-clean plate and bowl in the cupboard. Coffee was EVERYWHERE! Of course, Brad (having been down below doing something else) was yelling at me "WTF???" adding to my distress and bewilderment.

In an attempt at quick-thinking, I considered the old advice to sheet out to lessen the power of the sails, but decided I would do better to sheet in completely and turn to windward. Just as I was sheeting in, trying to steer upwind and I realizing I couldn't figure out which way that was, another gust of wind hit us and we heeled over violently, even worse than during the accidental jibe. The top box stowed below the nav desk (which I had stowed improperly the night before in my laziness, ie. NOT on top of the anti-skid strip), exploded across the full width of the boat, slamming into the freezer on the port side, disgorging its contents of about 40 Mountain House freeze-dried meals. (Yes, in case you were wondering, they are indeed backpacking meals. We went crazy at an REI sale back in 2002 and bought a pant-load of them! And naturally since we bought our camper, Brad hasn't wanted to do a lot of backpacking. It's beneath the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed. Hence, the surplus of freeze-dried dinners. It saves me from having to cook every single day so I'm not complaining. When the seas are rough, they definitely fill the void.) And of course, the box wasn't the only casualty. The expensive stabilizing binoculars and Brad's IPad also went flying off the salon table. Brad was apoplectic! Fortunately, only the focusing knob sheared off the binocs so hopefully we can make them workable again. The IPad seems to be okay too. Thank God!

Brad was pretty pissed at me, as you might imagine. He took over driving - I was too freaked out at that point anyway - while I went below to clean up the coffee debacle. It wasn't until later that he checked the wind instrument and realized it really wasn't my fault. We had apparently been hit by a williwaw! The wind meter showed the maximum wind had been 28.1! Such a sudden change in wind velocity was a real shocker to us both, but especially to me since I was the one driving at the time. I literally didn't know what had hit me. When Brad took over, he said the windex was doing a 360 and then the wind speed died down to under 10, so he put the sails away. (There is no way anyone can sail when the wind is THAT inconsistent!)

After we anchored for the day, uneventfully I might add (whew), Brad discovered that the macerator pump (shit pump, in case you didn't know), although still running, wasn't actually pumping as it should. This occurred to him after the last use when our electronic tank gauge still showed one pixel when we were pretty sure it had to be empty. In an effort to investigate, he pulled up the carpeting in the forward stateroom (our bedroom) and removed the hatch cover to the bilge and valves below. Shockingly, there was a brown viscous substance splashed all over the place! I said, "Maybe it is mud from the anchor that didn't get washed off properly since the anchor washdown pump seized up this morning? Geez, I hope so." He reached down and scooped some of the brown stuff with his index finger, brought it to his nose, and took a tentative whiff. "No, it doesn't smell like shit. What do you think?" (Please bear in mind that the longer one smells an unpleasant aroma (read: stench!), the olfactory senses cease to find it offensive after several minutes.) "No, I don't think it smells like shit either, so maybe it IS just mud." (Hope springs eternal.) Brad sticks his head below further and says, "Uh oh. There's a BIG puddle under the macerator. And look. Here are two sheared-off bolts lying in the puddle. It is DEFINITELY shit!!!"

Imagine, if you will, the expression on Brad's face after making this discovery. It can mean only one thing: a shitty, shitty, seriously shitty repair and cleanup job, and we KNOW who has to do it! (Hint: NOT ME! I did NOT sign up for this). As Brad crawls halfway into the hole, up to his elbows in pooh, he mentions something about a sweet smelling liquid emanating from the pump, but methinks his sniffer has taken a holiday! He tells me what "good value" he is, what with him making two repairs in one day. (He had spent an hour before this little chore successfully "mcguivering" a replacement for the anchor washdown pump. Good job, Brad!) But I don't know. I think he is doing a shitty job! :-)

It's a coinkydink really, but we will be eating mujadarruh tonight. (I took it out of the freezer this morning and it's been thawing all day.) Since it looks pretty much the same going in as it does coming out, it may not seem quite as appealing to Brad after today's frolic in the bilge! Awfully appropos though, I must say!